AITA for not asking him to wear a condom, when I know he does not want a baby?

I disagree that she was misleading him. She certainly wasn’t misleading him any more than he was misleading her by not asking the question he actually wanted to know the answer to. If his actual point was ‘I’m only going to continue sleeping with you if you’re guaranteed to have an abortion if you get pregnant’ then he also lied by omission.

And I reiterate my earlier point - what difference would it have made anyway? Even if OP had honestly believed that she would have an abortion and had told her partner so, he still wouldn’t have been entitled to rely on that information in deciding whether to continue having sex with her, or whether to use a condom, because OP could have changed her mind on abortion at any time. Many women decide not to have abortions despite always believing they would have no problem with it. No one can honestly answer that question because you don’t know how you will feel until you’re in that situation. OP’s partner had no right to rely on the idea that OP could have an abortion when deciding how HE should act, because that was never going to be his decision to make.

OP’s original question was ‘AITA for not forcing my partner to wear a condom when he doesn’t want a baby’. The answer to that is obviously no. OP’s partner is responsible for his contraceptive choices. If he’s old enough to have sex he’s old enough to understand the associated risks and to protect himself accordingly. If he based his decision about those risks on a vague conversation about abortion when he didn’t even ask the question he actually wanted to know the answer to, he is an asshole. If he based his decision on the belief that OP could absolve him of the consequences of his actions by having an abortion, he is an asshole (and an idiot).

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread Parent