NTA

Hard truths time:

That woman was going to die no matter what you did or didn’t do because it was just her time.

You, lacking the psychic ability to see the future and know the exact time of her death, did not foresee her passing before it was safe enough to take your baby out in public, during a pandemic.

Honestly, your husband is the asshole here.

If he wants to be by his mother’s side while she passes away, that’s fine and dandy.

However:

You had a premature baby fresh out of the NICU, and this guy proceeds to keep leaving and coming back over and over again, exposing the baby and you to all kinds of contagious things, during a pandemic!

Furthermore, he wanted you to take yourself, someone who just had major surgery, and your baby, again premature and fresh out of the NICU, out in the germ infested world in order to fulfill a very selfish last wish. Once again, can’t stress this enough, During A Pandemic!!!

Seeing that baby would not have prevented her death but it 100% would have put you and the baby at risk of infection.

Being a parent means making tough choices, and choosing your child’s welfare is always the right choice.

It was an impossible situation and no matter what you did everyone wasn’t going to be happy.

Yes, it would have been nice for a visit to happen, but it also would have been stupidly risky!

Of course he should be by his mother’s side and yes he is going to grieve her but if he can’t understand that keeping you and your baby alive and healthy takes priority, then therapy is in order.

Honestly, therapy sounds like a good idea for you too.

You did not do anything wrong and you need to stop feeling guilty for not making other people happy.

Frankly, if more people put the safety of their children over the whims of those around them, it would be a much better and safer world.