It is who he is.

Prepare for your holidays to be shaped by his assumption that of course you'll be doing whatever he wants with his family -- it's simply not the same if he doesn't do what he's always done! Same goes for vacations, BTW.

Prepare for him to insist that he gets to decide when and how often they're allowed in your house, and for him to tell you that you saying no to a visit or a spare key or any boundary is you being irrational.

Prepare for him to discuss all your private business with whichever family member he pleases. You're part of his life! He's family oriented! Asking him to not discuss your personal business is like asking him not to discuss his life with you!

This man has already shown you he's "sensitive" (i.e. not open to discussion or compromise) if you aren't willing to go along with the idea that you are an adjunct to the rewarding life he's built around his family.

He's already shown you that the experience his brother's family is going to have at the engagement photoshoot means more to him than your experience.

He may be a great guy in many other areas but are you really down for coming second to his family's wants?