I was used in the same manner. We dated for 7 years, was married for 17, split after 13 of them. He was manipulative, emotionally and mentally, he would gaslight and lie, frequented gay websites and dating sights without my knowledge, a variety of behaviors that were hard to see at the time due to my past trauma. Trauma that he knew of before we began dating. The only thing I had ever asked was to not lie to me as trust was a big issue for me. When we finally divorced, he said he'd known that he was gay since he was 12. I replied that he never should have married me, he agreed, but said that he'd put me on a pedestal like something he'd won. So I was only ever an object and a shield for him from others. I've been on a couple of dates since we split, but I've decided that I'm just better off alone. I don't have it in me to trust anyone ever again.