I’m an only child and my dad left before I started school, so I am very close to my mother. If my mother is alone and in the future I have already decided she will live with me. She is the most important person in my life along with my partner, and I would want him to compromise. I understand that it appears OP’s wife is picking her mother over him, however I could not leave my own across the country by herself. It should not be all about OP’s needs. Also, why is Christmas with her family so miserable? My partner loves coming to see my parents with me as we have a close family dynamic which he didn’t have growing up and he likes being included