ESH

You don't want to give him a penny of the inheritance because he didn't share his, behaved in a way that was really hurtful and the precedent he set is letting you give him a well deserved taste of his own medicine? Fine. I mean, punishing your spouse can't lead to anything good but I understand the impulse. We can even ignore that an inheritance of vacation money and an inheritance of real estate and real estate money are very different things. I would also say that, morally, if you sell it all tomorrow, every penny should be rightfully yours.

However, you created a monthly income for yourself that would appear to far exceed the cleaning job arrangement. In fact, it sounds like the cleaning job arrangement where you kept it all probably should have been reevaluated when it became a bigger, more regular thing, and it actually makes me wonder if his own weird selfishness about the inheritance is somehow tied feelings over this. Regardless, some of your monthly income does belong in a family account with a clearly defined purpose and rules, just like some of his paycheck does. Is that "some" the equivalent of the money from two of the five income generating units you know own? No idea.

Whatever the answer, it sounds like there's lots of unresolved resentment over money, and you need to deal with it both from the relationship perspective (open, honest communication and probably counseling) and the financial perspective (a planner/accountant who can help you set up financial rules of the road for your family that are fair to everyone involved).