I’m so sorry about all of this. This is a hard situation for everyone involved and I completely understand why you want to go.

However, from personal experience, YWBTA. My cousin overdosed from heroin and one of her friends that was instrumental to her addiction+lifestyle stopped by the funeral to pay respects. My family was obviously distraught and were so angry at her. Even though she wasn’t the person who caused her overdose, they blamed her (or at least the idea of her) and she was asked to leave. It hurt seeing my family in so much pain to lose their child and to see them have them go through that during a time of intense mourning was beyond heartbreaking.

Please don’t go to the funeral...I know it hurts to not, but don’t forget about the people who this impacted most. If you want to pay respects and such, you should wait until you’d be able to visit her gravesite (if buried) when there is nobody else around.

Don’t blame yourself OP, though. Mistakes happen, people go down dark paths, and there’s nothing you could have done to stop this from happening. Wishing you well and to be able to forgive yourself❤️