I do agree with what you are saying. But for me it was never because of removing hijab. It was more slowly realising how meaningless life is, how much we do not know yet, how everything is a theory or a concept. It knocks you down big time and you wonder what your purpose is. And religion is nice, it's so damn nice in the sense that it comforts you, it gives you some hope (false hope) and makes life's troubles alright because it isn't forever and you will get all the happiness in the next life. And that would be so damn ideal but my brain just does not accept it because there's no evidence for it, for any of it.

But if you don't believe in it (I speak only perosnally here) life can become really weird. You question the point of everything and anything and it just gets you down. And I guess unless you were 100% positive of something good on the way in the long run (heaven) you just come to the crappy realisation that life is nothing but an accident and you just get on with it, kinda sad but also numb, and the numb feeling is slightly stronger.

in all honesty, I feel like ever since I've left Islam I have been a lot more analytical of the world around me and I realise day by day how absolutely boggling the concept is that I am even here, just here as one extra teeny tiny speck for a little while, to then die and that's it. Nothing. I don't know, I find myself stil looking for a reason to stay motivated and not get too lazy. And I guess that's my only goal in 'life'.