You're right and I agree with the sentiment. I broke NC because the awkwardness of bumping into her was making me avoid going into certain areas. I messaged her a week after seeing her in the Target parking lot, her approaching me, and me literally running away. I stopped going to that store after that and it was getting ridiculous. I stopped walking the communal hall at work so I could avoid her but that was impeding my work.

I feel that by keeping things on good terms but keeping her at arm's length I get the best if everything. I don't fear bumping into her and I'm not getting sucked in. It's risky because I could let my guard down and get sucked in again, but the fact that I've recognised this and immediately shut it down leads me to believe I can maintain this balance.

I was vulnerable when we first met because I'm from another country and was recently out of a long, long term relationship so I had to deal with a lot of personal rebuilding. She's still my Achilles heal but I have better support networks now and I can see the signs. Her contract ends in a year too so I only have to put up with this for a year before she moves far away.

Thank you for your concern, and by saying this you've added another layer of caution to my actions. I'm going to speak to my friends and ask them to instruct me to block her if they see any bad signs.