I suppose so. It's frustrating, and hurtful to see so much negative energy. I'm trying to humble myself by admitting that I don't really know, then I'm getting called an idiot, then when I try to say "wait no i think you have it wrong, I just don't know what the hell im doing or why." When I ask for advice on an unrelated topic, and I get called ugly, that hurts. That hurts a lot, actually. It's not just about bruised ego and my self perception being off. Someone went out of their way to tell me that. That makes me cry. That honest to god just makes me feel awful. And I get it, this is the internet, people are mean for no reason. I really understand that. Why though, when I try to admit that I want help, do I get attacked so viciously? I don't want to turn it into a gender thing but it really seems like men come on here and consistently get solid, well-rounded advice without that kind of insult. It's what inspired me to do this. In all honesty, I wasted far too much energy on this thread. I laid in bed and cried. Maybe that's because I'm a child, but maybe that's because people purposefully said hurtful things, too. I get enough attention. I understand the lesson. Why are people so mean? I admit my flaws because I want to improve, actively. Not because I want someone to keep telling me all sorts of awful things. Maybe I'm just sensitive, (I'm honestly mildly bipolar) but this hurt so much and I don't even know how to react. I don't want to admit that it hurt so seriously because people will dismiss it as me being 18. But, just like with anyone, some parts of me aren't that age. I've seen shit, I've seen awful shit, shit that some of you may never see. I paid bills at 14. I grew up fast, and sometimes it means my shoes are just too big for my feet and I overshoot or undershoot things. I make mistakes, I act stupid, I seem immature because I feel like I deserve it, in some ways. I wish I hadn't posted at all. The intellectual part of me wants to accept it as a learning opportunity, but the emotional part is absolutely devastated and just wants to die (which in and of itself is absolutely childish). Whenever that type of conflict happens, I just get severely dysphoric for weeks on end. That's my problem. But it brings me back to my first point, why can't people just be nice? Why can't someone accept that while I know I know more than I should about some things, I'm not going to be wise in other things? why can't someone accept that I'm beyond my years in some areas? This has honestly been awful and I'm ruminating hard. That's my own mental and emotional struggle to be pinned on no one else. I'm very, very sad tonight.