My wife and I had the worst fight of our 10 year relationship that night. It was the early hours of the morning and when I was woken up, she had webpage loaded on her computer with flights researched ready to take her back home and was saying that unless I told her the truth she was going to leave me. As part of that fight she also took off her wedding ring and threw it on the floor - and I understand completely why she would do that, I hurt her and this was a display of that hurt.

We argued for what seemed like hours and she told me if I could admit what I had done that we would seek marriage counselling, that she would stay and that we would work through things.

I was scared of my wife leaving me, and I lied in saying what I thought she wanted to hear to make the situation better at that moment - which I know is the most stupid thing I could ever say. I should have focused more on her hurt and her upset rather than her wanting to leave me. I know that now.

My wife took my phone, found my co-workers number and messaged her. I thought my co-worker had messaged back but it was an email notification that had come through. At that point, I began to realise how stupid I was in lying to my wife (and lying at the worst possible time). If my co-worker took my lie to our HR department, then I could lose my job, and losing my job would mean that my wife would likely get deported. At that point I did a complete u-turn and admitted to my wife that I made it up and that I didn’t actually sleep with her.

It’s taken me a long time to admit to myself that this was an emotional affair, and all I want now is for us to repair our marriage.
However, because I stupidly lied to my wife about this, she doesn’t believe anything I say anymore. I don’t blame her, I just wish I had never lied to her about this. I should have manned up and reached ground zero there and then.