I've never been told that my ability to work will affect me as a parent (or even just as a general human being). I'm not a parent, and I do not plan to be one, but I can't even fathom how dejected I would be if someone told me that I was a bad role model simply because I decided to stay at home and take care of my children, regardless of whatever else I was doing to raise them and make sure that they lived good lives. Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do; continuing to go to work or staying at home to be with one's children is a choice that parents get to make, and should be able to make without judgment from others (especially on the basis of gender).
It's simply terrible how much we let our idea of how a parent is supposed to be let shaped by society. Even if it's absolutely nobodys business who stay at home and takes care of the kids and who goes to work. Or whatelse.
As a female, I'm allowed to have emotions. I'm expected to. Sure, I can be deemed 'crazy' or 'overreacting' sometimes.
And that's the other side again. Women being depicted as "emotional". Or society depicts emotions as something bad. A person who is acting "emotionally" doesn't act rationally. Women are acting emotionally -> therefore not thinking rationally.
It's the same with "a woman's intuition". That's not meant as something positive. It's insinuating that women are lead in their decisions by feelings, not by facts. Those are hidden attacks.
And then again you have men depicted men as horny idiots who can't control themselves... and sadly far too often there are males who are ready to prove this stereotype true.
But to have to suppress emotions all the damn time must get extremely frustrating.
It is unhealthy.
All of this isn't just about stereotypes or society. I'm still only scratching on the surface.
I'm unable to cry. I can count the times I cried since I was ten on two hands max. Even if I knew it would've been helpful. This isn't something to be proud of. That's another aspect of me that just feels broken.
I'll admit that I've definitely been guilty of being uncomfortable around older men, both as a child and now. I try to be as open-minded as I can, but it can get very difficult to distinguish (and the lines can get somewhat blurred) between what is just my own anxious thinking and what are actual red flags.
The bad thing is that you both are aware of it being a stereotype and a wrongful conviction of people and there being a realistic danger. Even though most attacks (especially on children) don't come from stranger danger but from relatives or friends of the family.
And so from what I can gather, these all mainly have to do with a fear of being/seeming weak, correct? And--I'm guessing--it stems from an idea that one is somehow less masculine for having emotions, expressing them, and for coping with them in healthy ways (which is why many have resorted to alcoholism)? (Correct me if I am wrong--misconceptions are not a favorite of mine in the slightest).
That's correct, but there are probably other points as well I can't think of right now. Might come back to them later.
And, of course, the movies aren't often a great help. We've made many breakthroughs in terms of strong female characters and such. But I can't really recall more than perhaps one (or two) film(s) at most which portrayed any men as having real emotion and not being devalued for it.
Movies shape our society far more than many people realize. This is the medium that reaches the highest percentage of people. There are movies that influenced whole generations, like Rebel Without a Cause.
[Side note: Did you know that horror movies tell a lot about a society? They have a very strong psychological aspect many people wouldn't expect.
Horror movies actually tell a lot about the fears but also about the desires of society. This is one of the reason why every decade has its own favored category of horror movies.
Let's take zombies. Zombies actually are a lot about life in a post-apocalyptic, utopian society. Sounds strange at first sight. But if you think about it: Most people are gone. Which means there is a lot less competition. There are plenty of easy resources anyone can simply take. People are able to give in to their desire for violence (something we suppress in our civilized society) without negative repercussions. Your college education, your work experience doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that you basically have a simple hunter/gatherer society that appears to be attractive to many. There is danger but also excitement. And if there are only a few people it's also going to be easier to find a partner.
Vampires: Vampires are about immortality, being special and strong but also a lot about sexuality and libido. Dark being visits a womans house at night and drains her blood? Intimate embrace, exchange of body fluids (sth that's extremely private). But it still wasn't the womans fault (unharmed "honor" and purity). Vampires were a popular motive when a society had a suppressed sexuality iirc.
Radioactive, chemically/genetically created monsters: Fear of mankind deforming nature, breaking fundamental laws, creating scientific abominations. A science without ethics. Happened after nuclear bomb drops, nuclear bomb tests, large industrial accidents or scientific advancements that appeared to be uncontrollable and which were leading to unknown consequences.
Aliens. Interesting topic. Aliens come from far away. They are strange, they are different and (since it's about horror movies) they are threatening. They want to seize our earth, kill us, enslave us. This is actually an expression of the fear of communists and the red scare. Those movies were very popular in the late 40s and 50s.]
Who are male role models in movies? Some probably would say (or at least: used to say) men like James Bond. Suave. Fearless. Violent. Intelligent. Womanizer. A number of other attributes are not something he is having.
Another one comes to my mind, a rather extreme one. Tony Montana from Scarface. Did you know that leading members of the Mafia build their homes exactly to Tony Montanas palace from the movie? Because he's a role model to them. Despite him being brash, hotheaded, extremely violent and sometimes even dumb.
Women are extremely underrepresented in movies. That was decades ago and it's still like that today. When a charakter is needed male are often the "default" gender. When a charakter is female then very often it has to be about a love interest somehow.
Sometimes I think I have no idea how women actually think and what are important values are to them. How many father/son movies are there? It has to be an endless number. But father/daughter or mother/daughter movies? Not that many, and often they are cliche or of lower quality.
Emotion is a human existence (and perhaps just a life existence of complex creatures). It transcends sex/gender, because every person has emotions in at least one form or another (okay, maybe there are very, very few exceptions to this rule, but as a vast generalization based on anecdotal evidence, I'd like to believe it's true).
Yes, but other question comes up: How can you ever be sure that the emotions you are feeling are the same another person is perceiving? How can you know you can feel as deep as another person? Or maybe you never even experienced one emotion?
There are probably people who go around and have never experienced emotions as being in love. Or deepest despair.
Someone shouldn't be afraid to confide in another about issues they have simply for fear of being weak.
It shouldn't be like that but when one opens up and possibly faces severe disadvantages because of that both in private as well as in professional life he will think twice about actually doing it.
I feel like I can't trust my emotions. But that's probably my illness.