I did this quite a bit in my early 20s. Low self-esteem, turbulent sense of morals and values, just generally a very fucked up person. Combine that with dating apps and it’s going to be a really stupid time.

I had no sense of accountability for myself or anyone else, so it was always just easiest for me to skip out and rot in the rafters alone until I felt like I wanted to put myself out there again.

From my perspective, I felt like everyone reflexively wanted commitment or was planning marriage out of a frightened sense of impending loneliness or doom. It always felt like way too high stakes of a situation and it never lead to me feeling able to anchor down and feel secure with anyone I met from an app. It felt easier to just cut the cord instead of having to deal with the drama of all of that.

Looking back, I felt like I probably wasn’t cut out for long-term relationships, but I pretty soon found someone organically that I’ve been happily involved with for years now. I really do think dating apps have just made everything harder in general when it comes to romantic relationships.

One time after I ghosted someone, they knitted me the gayest little hat and left it at my door with a very patronizing note. They ended the note by asking me to send them a picture of me wearing the hat. It further reinforced my decision to cut them out of my life.