I've been awake for three days, I quit my job, and I have relapsed while living under my family's roof. I'm turning 28 in November, my mother has developed a cocaine addiction AFTER I moved out, and has been showing the early warning signs of dementia for the better part of two years. I have only been in love once and lost it because of drugs and her college education. I think about killing myself all the time but I know that I'll never do it. I love my family too much and they've done everything they could. A surprising number of friends and even an ex girlfriend or two pop up every once in a while but not as often anymore. I'm not getting any happier and they are all late bloomer college students now. I'm the only one left now, 72 hours of no sleep, hanging out on the depression subreddit, knowing that my life is shit and I can feel the tears start to build, but this full body orgasm is preventing me from shedding a single tear. I've been through this before and I know that the star trek voldemort will find me wherever I try to hide and make me a zombie/slave until it kills me or I wind up in prison.

If you have a spouse or children or something to live for, hold them tight and cherish every second that you have with them because they need that from you whether you realize it or not. I have nothing, because I am nothing, because I give myself nothing, sweet nothing.