Yes. My father was N and borderline personality. Needless to say he was ("was" to me, I'm NC) a huge pile of steaming shit. My sister was abused, just as I was, however she came up in a relatively traditional home scenario, eventually graduating college, which mom and dad paid for, along with other reasonable things that any functioning parent with the means would provide their children (child. I was thrown to the curb after she moved out). Writing this out here, I can see that she is deff the golden child.
Anyway, my sister is bitter and angry, (I'm sad and angry) with no self awareness. She intrenches herself with our parents by allowing them to do favors for her... and because ndad is sick, she's taken it upon herself to treat our mother like the emotional punching bag our father conditioned her to be. If I were to be completely honest... I hate my sister. I hate her face, I hate her voice, I hate her bitterness, I hate how her pathetic self loathing is so blaringly obvious in how she is abusive and agressive to everyone around her, including co workers (one of which was reprimanded for saying he wanted to punch her teeth in)... but, what I hate most of all is how she treats our mother. If I could legally beat the shit out of her, I would drive to her house right now, and make a holiday of it, and then youtube a video of it for that hero co-worker to watch. She uses her daughter as a way to punish our mother for not being a good enough mother, in her eyes. And our mother isn't a saint, however, she is just as much a victim of our father as my sister and I.
Needless to say, I have a lot of anger about my family at right now. I'm getting ready to move to another state with my SO, and tbh, I'm having a lot of trouble staying grounded. It's a time when a person should have family... and facing my hurt and letting the"should" go, is really difficult right now. My SO is out of town for work regularly, and the isolation has been taking it's toll. I don't know... I only have myself right now, and It hasn't been easy to keep myself from giving in to my anger.
Ugh. This post is a fucking mess.