Being as honest as I can be, the only people I’ve ever been attracted or had chemistry with have been ASPD/NPD. They were the only ones I could respect: smart and strong. It always ends in mutual love-hate and catastrophe. Did I mirror them? Absolutely. It’s made me a stronger person because of how I’ve coped with splits.

I’ve joked that I feel like a succubus. I mirror and absorb their strengths and talents. I consciously try to be better than them in their areas of focus. If someone’s a runner, I will focus on mirroring them and becoming a runner but then when we break up I cope by becoming a better runner than they ever were.

I’ve been having trouble with my last split because I think he was actually a BPD masking as a NPD/ASPD. It’s been really difficult to process and move on.