Final Comment I will make to you today ------

I think it is very unlikely that your depression comes from loneliness because you mentioned that even when you had a GF you will still depressed.

You say that is because " I was depressed because she was not the one and I knew that from the beginning" Which would make total sense if you falsely believed getting a gf would cure your depression, only to see that she wasn't doing it and instead of wondering maybe It's about more than loneliness you instead turn around and say she's not the one.

You've already achieved what you thought would fix your problem. It hasn't. The best advice anyone can give you is to see a doctor. You say "I want to be happy because I am living a good life, not because I took a pill. "

Sadly your brain isn't able to reach the conclusion that what you need is more than just a GF. Which btw I highly doubt you will be able to get another since you said you've never even asked someone out. It's not as easy in College or Real Life as it was in High School.

You're mad because you think I'm as you put "Shilling" for anti depressants and that isn't the case. From the eyes of a fairly average onlooker the only viable solution to your problems I see is seeing a doctor not asking for anything and seeing what they suggest you do.

But.... you won't ever do that. If I had to bet my car on it I'd say you will never see a doctor and never get the help you need. You will use /r/incels in an attempt to "self-medicate" by letting out your woes to a sea of people dealing with the same thing. The only problem is doing this won't actually solve anything it just will make you more of a radical to the point where you're like the more extreme people here that enjoy purposely bumping into people and such.

I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful life. It's up to you choose what you want to do. I say that even though it seems you've already chosen.