I genuinely don't have anything to offer in a relationship.
I'm unattractive.
Socially underdeveloped and lack a real personality. I've gone a month or two at a time without uttering a single word, and I don't even know what my voice sounds like outside of my head sometimes. Can't hold simple conversations, and occasionally I get major anxiety just trying to think about ordering my food. Fuck I even pretended to mute for awhile so I wouldn't have to talk.
Can't bench more than 10lbs. I can probably change this but I'm too lazy. Also lazy.
Trust and insecurity issues. People have stolen from me, beaten me, lied to me. At this point I shut people out to the point where the only people willing to approach me, are people who feel sorry for me or probably want to take advantage of me. That's a pretty ugly way of thinking, but I don't even know how I'm supposed to change that. I'm probably also at fault but outside of ignoring people, I haven't done anything remotely bad in my life.
There's depression that makes me super self-deprecating and possibly indignant at times.
No talents, no interests, no job aspirations. It's weird I know, but I just kinda have lived life just going with the flow. Got decent grades in school and currently in a surprisingly good college, but I don't think I'm really doing anything I can feel good about. Though maybe that's my depression talking again.
Huh, I thought I could make a longer list but I guess this touches all the bases.
Oh wait, I tried to kill myself because I had a tiny sort of identity crisis at the age of 18-19ish(am 23). I just kinda realized that I had gone through most of my life doing nothing and wasting away by isolating myself for 10+ years, but that will kind of do that to you, I suppose.
I've gotten help for it but at this point I'm really only keeping myself alive for my parents' sake.
I'm a pretty horrible and disgusting person overall. Hey, that might be my depression talking again.
Though, I can't possibly think I'm a genuinely interesting person, or a person at all. Without my self-pity, self-deprecation, depression, I lose what little personality I have.
I don't even know if it's appropriate to call that sad. I honestly don't know what I was like before becoming this way. My memory is filled with so many blanks because every day of my life has been more or less the same.