Tomorrow i will be 200days smoke free (6months2weeks). I had a kind of out of body experience the first two weeks and now i know what people talk about when they say they're a "born again person". I am no religious person, but let me tell you, i surely think i know what feelings they had in that moment.

Smoking was making everything stale and numb and tasteless. Everithing was a good excuse to not quit smoking and i would indulge into my negative emotions to prove to the world I wasn't ready to quit. Once i realized the real reason i didn't want to quit (childhood trauma and toxic household) and isolated from it, then it all started to make sense.

A part from the childhood trauma that woke up while trying to develop new tools to deal with my emotions, especially the negative ones, I can totally say that everything clicked and never been so full of life. Soon i will be in a good economical condition to look for therapy on the childhood stuff and in the meantime discovering some hobbies i forgot about.

Only problem now is to find a friend to share a beer with without looking as an alcoholic in public (only 1 though).