Handling a break up is never easy, and each of us deal with it differently. If the person you were with was emotionally or physically abusive, that itself adds another layer of complexity.

I thought my ex was my best friend. In the beginning, he was understanding and a team player and I trusted him. We had a good and open communication system where the priority was "us" rather than I. It felt like there wasn't anything we couldn't tackle.

Fast forward, life started to stress him out and he started changing. He started having resentment for sweet things he had done for me. Back then, he wanted and enjoyed doing those things but months later refer to them as sacrafices he had to make. He also started taking things out on me and at first I didn't challenge it and made the changes he requested but eventually they started getting ridiculous, and my logic kicked in full gear. For example, he would get mad at insignificant things like minor teasing, me gaining 5 lbs (I was a size 4 and his exes were size 10 or higher so I didn't understand the issue), and etc. I put up with everything thinking he was just going through a tough time.

Things finally came apart when he started lying (as in initiating other relationships), disrespecting me by telling people "I" was crazy and so on. I had no idea he was going around telling stories because he made me promise to keep our issues between us only. By then, I told him it wasn't working and tried to leave on good terms. Unfortunately, he had a major blow up while I was in the process of moving out, said so many wrong and nasty things that I ended up taking work off the very next morning, rented a truck, packed up everything by myself, and left. At that point, after everything we've gone through and how badly he treated me, I didn't feel I owe him any goodbyes. He was at work when I moved out but knew I was doing so.

I moved into my parents temporarily while I searched for another place (since it was sudden). Even though he was a jerk, it was still hard and I missed him or rather who he use to be. I had moments everyday and even questioned how I was going to get through it.

After a month, my father was suddenly diagnosed with leukemia, got admitted into the hospital and passed away the following week. The grief from losing my father took over the pain from my break up. It also taught me to appreciate life so much more. I started to be less uptight, traveled more and attended more social events.

Prior to leaving him, he tried rubbing it in how he had plan on taking me to New York but it was my loss. But really it wasn't any loss, just bogus yapping. I'm a grown women and had no problem taking myself there recently. I had a blast with my girlfriend and looking back, wouldn't have preferred it any other way.

One year later after leaving and no contact between us, I ran into him or rather him into me. He had to stop me because I didn't recognize him and proceeded to talk like we were best of friends. I was slightly confuse given how things last were but was a good sport. I gave him compliments, and told him it was good to see him. He tried to continue the conversation but I politely cut him off and wished him well. It was a good ending.

To this day, I'm soooo thankful we broke up and at that exact time. It gave me time with my father that I wouldn't have had. It made me realize how strong I am to overcome obstacles in life and still have a positive outlook. I'm in the best shape I've ever been, size 2 now and just getting better. But most of all, now I know all his accusations towards me were bogus. Plus, he is not the right person for me at all. Now I'm living a good life with no cloud over my head.

I can say from personal experience the healing comes in phases but the most important thing is always having a positive outlook and beliving in yourself. Good things will come, believe me. The best revenge is finding your happiness. Best of luck!