It's crazy. Thing is: he needs it. He needs to tell, he needs to humiliate you, he needs to be angry at you. You are his vent - having power over you is a rush for him, and he's actively looking for it. There is nothing you can do to keep that under control - he doesn't want you to. You know this - you've seen it. It's why he can cuddle up to you afterwards and think everything is fine: it's because for him, things are indeed better!

But this is damaging you. He is betraying you and the love you have for him, daily. Please, please reconsider this relationship. It won't get better. And honestly? You don't need an 'abuse' label to leave when your partner makes you feel bad. Your relationship is supposed to sustain you.

Patricia Evans' The verbally abusive relationship helped me, I've been there. DM me if you want. Take care.