In this case, the messaging is from external sources, combined with a lack of clear understanding and a belief that men aren't suppose to be insecure, thus not talk about them. Therapy would only get men, who deal with this, so far. At the very least, the accompanying depression can be addressed and treated.

And I honestly don't think it's really paying a price, for something that should have occurred centuries ago. More like massive adjustment, from men and women, in a short amount of time. An interesting take, from a colleague, is comparable to the phrase "Sins of the Father," which strangely makes sense. The biggest common factors I observe is rejection (self-explanatory) and when a woman has a preference for something bigger than her SO, and he finds out. In those cases, it's not her sexual history, or even her being with bigger in the past, but him knowing he can't make his SO feel like she wants with what he's born with (queue the introduction of large toys, to satisfy her). Ensuring his partner is satisfied is important, but mentally it can change how he looks at and feels about sex with her. In his mind, an ex from her past made her feel better just from "winning the genetic lottery, and there's nothing he can do about it without giving up an aspect or two of his own pleasure (which makes it worse). This is basically the "thinking" of men who deal with this insecurity. In some cases, it's unwarranted, in others it's justified.

It comes down to matching up, in terms of physical sexual compatibility while ensuring both parties involved can be equally satisfied. That settled for feeling comes from that. A woman who prefers a bigger size than her SO settles, for what she believes will be for an overall quality man. In doing so, two things happen: 1) He needs to compensate to make up for what she prefers but doesn't have and 2) She decided for the man if he's to be settled for, not taking into account if he's comfortable with that or not.

This is longer than I intended. Apologies.