Speaking as an ex controlling boyfriend, when I was young I didn’t even know what was what, but I thought I did. Now I know better and love it when my wife uses her vibrator on her own or whatever she wants to do to have fun and feel like she’s got her alone time. She’s good about doing the same for me and we both enjoy our freedom. However that type of reasoning doesn’t come easily at 18 for an insecure young man. Instead of the ladies calling him a clown ass or whatever it’s always good to empathize and try to see into the minds of the people we can’t understand. He’s a man of 18, you’re a young woman of 19, which probably means u are way more mature than he is and it sounds like such. Men tend to mature later than women, and while a man’s sexual peak is usually at 18-19, a woman’s is normally around 29 or so. My point is he’s just figuring out how his own Willy works and is not associating the vibrator as a toy which is what it is; he’s seeing it like competition unless he is part of the equation. It’s typical for a young man to feel this insecure, as long as his insecurities don’t branch out into fucked of forms of toxic masculinity and chauvinism. Typical, not right.
It’s a rare thing for a guy that age to find the truth on his own and right away. It’ll take a few heartbreaks and things that make him think and try to fix the things that are not working within him. It’s normally a longer road for a guy, not all men but for many at that age. An older boyfriend might have the patience and experience to understand u, not saying go get a guy 20 years your elder, im just saying a few more years and he might have had his heart churned and burned enough to become more patient and understanding.
If u try to wait on him, the learning process won’t come. It’s so unfortunate right? Cuz you want this person to be the one in some ways and for some reasons, but the person won’t get there as long as they don’t learn anything new. The other way I’ve seen it work is break their heart and leave them cold and see if they come back after many months of self reflection. It’s not guaranteed to work and it’s usually a risk but it has some merit and some cases make it after that. Typically I’ve seen that people move on after all this time and don’t want the same things anymore, this is growth and if the guy comes back, that’s when they’ll have their “oh shit I can never lose someone like her again,” moment and change for real. It’s terrible but it normally happens when they realize they can’t have the girl they really should have tried to do their best for. Lastly, if you end up meeting this person years later just out of coincidence, I say go for it then. It’s usually a case of two totally different people meeting at the right time. Both will have what it takes, the old bad stuff will be Gone and new good things will have arrived.