thanks for clarifying, i still think a person in your position could operate a hundred times better, i feel like i watched enough of your stuff to know that's just how you operate, every content creator has his own internal mechanism that is responsible for shaping what they create, unfortunately your own mechanism unlike most people is a double edged sword that is equally sharp on both sides, i feel like by being immersed by the unique content you put out i have to understand that situations like these WILL happen and that thats right now what it takes for you to stay sane and keep doing what you do.

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even though, i high recommend you try to think harder on how you play your game on the internet, i feel like you HAVE to change a bit as a person in order to sustain a living making content here, you simply can not snap on people for not being good to you, i think the chances you had to be on lex in the next 3 years were way better than 1%, possibly even more than 20%. the dude loves what you do and it just seems like he got spooked by some things you said and did not have / want to spend the time truly understanding what is the righteous thing to do. i think you looked too much into how he operated and what he said and gave everything an interpretation, though i fully agree blocking you at the end was fucked up.

i really hope things will turn for the better, and that some day you will get big enough to actually not need to play the game by the rules you have to right now. <3