So sorry. To this day my parents are still trying to pull me into their abstract and ever shifting moral ideals and I feel the same as you despite performing music around the world for decades…lost and detached from what’s actually going on..seemingly unable to just trust my gut and join the world, as messed up as it is. That indoctrination is hard to shake.. especially when every time you go home your parents lose their minds in an effort to drag you away from any progress you’ve made while adding endless guilt. I truly feel for you! And I hope you can let that shit go. Lately things seem so bad I guess I just went off on a tangent, sorry about that.