in retrospect the only thing you're worried about is your orgasm

Wy would my feelings about this be relevant in this post? I am not worried about anything in this forum, or post as I was posting to make a point about RP vs BP philosophy and that according to my interpretation of it, its a false dichotomy. But yes, I have been worried about it for years as I actually wanted to like him but couldn't. I told him from day one I couldn't do another relationship and he persisted to try to seduce me which he did, and persisted in trying to convince me that I wanted him. I was young, naive and didn't know enough about attraction or myself to know that I couldn't change how I felt no matter how nice he was to me. He was 10 years my senior and I respected who he was, how he was with me, and I learned a LOT. Funny how you paint him and his feelings for me as extremely vulnerable when I was the broke student, he was the rich businessman, I was 10 years younger, I as coming out of a LTR literally 2 weeks before and he approached me relentlessly when I was clear from the get go that I only wanted/needed a friend. He wanted more and let me know it daily, and I felt safe enough to go to down that track with him. None of this was relevant (and is relevant) according to my reading of the BS sexist RP philosophy but what this experience shows and the interpretations of it that the post has garnered, is that life is not as cut and dry as either worldview makes it out to be. I never have and never would refer to men as beta in my real life, because I believe humans are intricately more complicated than any label or desire for an alpha label could ever truly describe.

Takes a lot of guts, ego and gumption to diagnose a personality disorder on the internet, when you've never met me, only read this post and only in the context of this forum (in which I thought my feelings on this were irrelevant to the overall story).

And FYI I'd never do an FWB with again because I'm in an LTR first and foremost, and second because I think they never ever work, someone always gets hurt.