I'm surprised that no one's replied with a top-level comment on this point yet: Not every school does this. I flipped out one day and beat the ever-loving shit out of a person who was bullying me, and when the principal heard the whole story, I got off with a stern warning.

I would argue that it's very hard to determine if someone is just as guilty as the bully, especially when they don't explore other options that people that level of maturity too often find "pussy" like.

The argument from administration's standpoint is generally that a person should not have met violence with violence in the first place. There's a big difference between defending oneself and openly fighting, and young people are supposed to, in a perfect world, be learning to find other ways to resolve conflict.

I admitted above to letting this past me once in High School, but today I don't think it was the right thing to do. I'm not saying I should've held hands with the nearest person and sung Kumbuyah, but there were plenty of other options I didn't explore before I threw the kid against the wall, embarrassing him in front of the whole class and digging him further into the label of "troublemaker" that was already hindering his own high school experience.