You are absolutely correct, we've kind of skipped over the actual talks, haven't we! I've been where you were, where confessing a small sin was blown so far out of proportion that I went to the depths of depression, was suicidal and needed immediate mental health care. My husband's best friend had brushed my boob with his hand at a BBQ, and I was embarrassed and didn't know what to do so I winked. I have no clue what the hell came over me but I was 22, super uncomfortable, and I fucking winked? Anyway, my bishop told me that it was a pretty serious transgression and disciplined me pretty harshly for about 6 months, as he believed I winked because I must have some emotional attraction to him and that was an affair. Everyone in the ward noticed, I had recently been called to a presidency and was released basically immediately after our little meeting.This started a long life of anxiety and trying to build my self esteem back to a healthy level. All of this because I was told that I HAD to confess this small sin I had mentioned to a friend, who told her sister who was married to our bishop who called me in to ask me about it.

I have to point out, this specific talk also tells an unsuspecting spouse that the righteous thing to do is to stay and keep the kids in that home. What if the cheating spouse was sleeping with hundreds of random strangers from Tinder every year? What if there's physical abuse/STDs/other children born from an affair? Stay because they confessed and that's what conference told you to do? Their messages are so outdated and out of touch, and families, situations and relationships are complex. That bishop should have sent that couple to therapy instead of bringing down a hammer with some imaginary powers. This damned religion is so damaging.