Just remember that every book of the bible was written by men and later changed by different men to suit their own agendas. This is why there are so many denominations. I think u should start researching the history of the bible and u may begin to understand that Jesus was real and taught that which God desired. Love for all. There are many books that were removed by men of the church and many passages added by men of the church. For reference, take Leviticus, chapter 15, verses 28-30 in which it is stated that a woman must present two turtle doves to be sacrificed at the end of her period each and every month. You won't hear anyone at church insisting this be practiced. The human beings that worship in the temples that God specifically forbade men from building in his honor have decided which doctrine will be followed. This is not the will of God, but the will of men proporting to be his message. God is not this ridiculous. You are as God has made you and therefore you are in his image. To say you are not is to undermine God's creation and God's will. There will be many wicked men among those who claim piety. Don't let peer pressure decide your relationship with God. God doesn't reward u for doing what another man or woman wants. I know it is tough to reconcile these truths with the beliefs of the many, especially when they are the beliefs of those you love. God will not reward or forgive people for following the many, especially if they cause pain to their brothers and sisters for the will of men. It may make their lives easier but transgressions against their brothers and sisters will be punished long before "inappropriate" love is punished. This I know.

Leviticus 15; (28-30)

28)“ ‘When she is cleansed from her discharge, she must count off seven days, and after that she will be ceremonially clean. 29)On the eighth day she must take two doves or two young pigeons and bring them to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting.30)The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the Lord for the uncleanness of her discharge.