3. The cure for ADHD

The cure for ADHD

I didn't graduate high school either, and I don't know if I have ADHD/ADD. At this point I sincerely hope it's something that I can just fix with a pill.

I ended up getting my GED. I've been struggling with school since 2nd-3rd grade. Math is especially problematic for me. When I can actually focus I certainly don't want to push that focus towards something I just don't care about, which has always been school. I have never felt the worth in it. The "value" of school has always been pushed on me. For me, school was just a progress report sent home every week to my parents(I was sent to a private middle school) detailing what assignments I missed and which tests I failed. That was often followed by my dad yelling and cursing at me for not doing anything. I would cry and and say I'm sorry, however over time he lost faith in me.

Unfortunately now in my adult years I am seeing peers achieving academic success and it just crushes me. I've learned that some jobs will pay more if you have a college degree, even if that position doesn't require a college degree. So I could potentially make more money just for having a degree.

Knowing this, I begrudgingly contemplated another attempt at community college. In my futile effort to envision myself succeeding, all I can actually picture is all of the pain, anxiety and frustration that comes with doing school work and learning new things. Just thinking about going through that, hitting all of those roadblocks... is enough to cause profuse sweating followed by a panic attack.

I'm 23 now, and I don't think I'll ever be on the same intellectual level as everyone else. For some reason I feel like I'm losing the ability to pick up on sarcasm and I sense that everyone around me is judging me at all times. I feel like when I leave a room of people that they're going to start saying bad things about me. That they're going to talk about how weird or stupid I am.

If I don't know something, I don't think I can know it. Even if I try, I'm confident that I won't grasp whatever it is as strongly as other people.

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