3. She cut my daughters hair without my permission while I was at work.

She cut my daughters hair without my permission while I was at work.

Here is my hair story.

I had to get a pixie cut for 1st grade because I cried when NMom ripped a comb through my long, easily tangled hair and raised welts on my head. I had to have it short through 2nd or 3rd grade when I could be trusted again to take care of it. I hated it, it thought it made me look like a boy, and I stopped wearing dresses after that.

At some point, maybe age 11 or 12, my long hair had rats in it and other adults would point this out. It was my job to take care of. NMom's care was either abusive or neglectful, so self-care can still be an issue for me to this day.

When I cut my hair short again by my choice in the 80s, I ended up with an unfortunate school picture since I don't actually look all that great with short hair. NMom always put the school pictures up on the wall. Although my senior picture was better (also short hair but pro photographer) and I told her I hated the bad pic, she kept the bad pic up.

Like many of us, I think NMom wanted me to be ugly. I'm no matinee idol, but I'm not a hag. I was never told I was pretty growing up. NMom was quite lovely. I try not to care but I still have a complex about my looks.

Has anyone actually scientifically studied the "hair thing" in relation to abusive parents?

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