thank you for this comparison, it is a good way of thinking of it. yes, I know, it is just hard coming to terms with it because I had never met anyone like him before, but I am young and have plenty of time to find someone else who is going to be better for me. he has had bad, mentally abusive (she abusing him) relationship with his wife and had to stay with her for different financial reasons, but I only heard his side so I had trouble thinking of her in a good light. but I need to put me in her shoes you are right.

But I am curious what you think of this say if you remove the wife from the situation (I realize this is like the main point and this says a lot about his character lol but please entertain it)? If he was single, same age gap, former teacher/student relationship, do you think developing this kind of relationship would be inappropriate?