HHH FAN FIC #1: "Amulets, Demons, & Textiles, Oh My!"
Summary: Drake gets a delivery and an unexpected visitor. Kanye is frustrated. Jay-Z isn't pleased.
Triggers: foul language, casual murder, unnecessary patois, hooded figures chanting, if you're just generally a pussy
HIDDEN HILLS, CALIFORNIA: Residence of Aubrey "Drake" Graham
Drake led the girl back to his master bedroom.
"You're such a gentleman," she said, noticing the rose petals scattered across the bed and candles decorating the room. He didn't tell her that he had his maids do that every evening, regardless of if he was having a woman over; he liked to pamper himself.
Sexy slow jams played in the background. As he took her clothes off, he wispered slowly in her ear, "Talk dirty to me."
"I want to know when your hotline blings inside me," she said in a sultry voice. "Turn a sixty nine upside down, it's still a sixty nine now," she added, giggling.
Oh no, another meme girl, he thought to himself. He was still going to make love to her though, because she was ridiculously gorgeous. A single tear fell down Drake's cheek. He turned his head to the side so she would not notice his misery, he narrated to himself in third person. No tear had actually fallen.
He began to sing "Girls Love Beyoncé" aloud very softly as they made love (also softly): "These days it's hard to meet women, I feel like my love life is finished, I've been avoiding commitment, that's why I'm in this position..."
The doorbell rang and he abruptly jumped out of bed and slid on a satin robe.
"Sorry, but I gotta get this" he said apologetically. She began to get up and follow him out of the room.
"Wait," he said, glancing back at her. "You wanna walk around naked in the kitchen without runnin into one of my n*ggas... that's not the way we livin'."
She giggled and continued after him.
"No bitch I'm serious, stay here."
HIDDEN HILLS, CALIFORNIA: Residence of Kanye West & Kim Kardashian
Kim was sitting on a chair in the bathroom, potty training Saint. More specifically, a nanny was potty training Saint while Kim was texting, but she liked to feel involved in her kids' lives anyway.
"MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN," she heard Kanye yell from across the house. She hurried to see what was wrong.
Entering the living room, she saw Kanye pacing by the window and swearing under her breath. "Is it about the pool again, babe?"
"WHY IS MY POOL SO DAMN SMALL?!!! MY POOL IS LISTED AS MEDIUM HUGE ON POOL LOVER MAGAZINE'S LIST OF CELEBRITY LUXURY POOLS!!! MEDIUM HUGE!!!" he shouted. "But no! That's not what I'm angry about."
He pointed down to a mess of textiles, scissors, etc. on the floor.
"How am I supposed to make Yeezy Season 3 great if I can't even sew my own clothing designs?!"
"Maybe just hire people to do it like last time?" Kim responded. This was the 3rd time they'd discussed this subject this week.
"I AM GOING TO HAND MAKE EVERY SHOE, BOOT, AND OVERSIZED SWEATSHIRT I SELL THIS SEASON! THE PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING IT! THE PEOPLE NEED IT!" He paused for a moment to catch his breath before continuing, "I wish were more supportive of me baby! You know what Khaled said when I told him my plan? He said They don't want you to hand sew every piece of your clothing line! He understood. I just never thought that you would become one of them."
"Who is they?" she asked, but Kanye didn't respond. She tried once again to reason with him. "Kanye, I do support you, it's just really too much for one person to..."
He cut her off, continuing, "Did Steve Jobs listen to all the people who said Making Apple the most influential brand in the world is too much for one person, Steve, did he?! DID HE?!! I have ideas, Kim. I have... I'm... I'm a designer. I design things. I want to design things that make this world a better world. I need people to support me, to believe in me, and then I can do it. I went into debt to make Yeezy Season 1. DEBT, Kim! Y'know what... Jesus was a carpenter. He built things with his own two hands! I need to build with my hands if I want to make a real difference in..."
Kim left the room as he continued talking to himself. He had already began to sew frantically while ranting and didn't even notice that she left.
She poured herself another glass of wine.