My colleague Marina spent the week analyzing the documents and pulled out vignettes which are shared with this story. Here, though, are lowlights of behind-the-scenes mishaps of our vaunted Secret Service.

A culture of "wheels up; rings off" meant even married agents could party on foreign trips.

Whatever. That's their prerogative if they want to mess up their marriages. No scandal here.

Secret Service K-9 units brought their dogs into their hotel room, which the dogs trashed. The agents made payoffs so the incident wouldn't be reported.

Now that's just stupid behavior.

A agent who missed his flight later showed up drunk with two prostitutes. He was not disciplined.

Protectionism.

Agents "engaged" with prostitutes in Amsterdam's red-light district during an advance team trip.

Did they get their job done? Was it done right? Is prostitution legal there? If the answer to these three questions is yes, then I don't see the problem.

A supervisor choked a female subordinate because she rejected his sexual advances.

It sounds like a supervisor needs to no longer be employed, and needs some jail time.

A supervisor offered a subordinate a larger office in return for sex.

See above regarding employment.

A supervisor took a subordinate to a sex show while on duty.

In the words of Red Foreman: "Dumbass"

A male agent's gun was stolen by a male prostitute he solicited online. The gun was never recovered.

Now that is just an impressive level of ineptitude.

A manager in the National Threat Assessment Center forced employees to drink alcohol in his office "so that he could trust them." The same manager was accused of multiple incidents of sexual harassment.

Someone needs to no longer be employed...