Definitely not alone. Both my husband [LLM - 30s] and I [HLF - 30's] deal with mental health issues. Except mine make me crave contact and intimacy, and his make him want left be. I don't have answers for you. There are days I feel like I need to break us up so he can get better and have a more suitable partner, but then when I talk about being unhappy, he pulls out the "I should just die" card. I feel trapped in this cycling hell of us feeding off each others misery and just getting sadder, fatter, and more isolated. If I stay, I give up my favorite things in life. If I go, he might be destroyed. There are other days that I feel like a complete asshole for even entertaining the thought of leaving him, because I made promises. Then other times I realize that we both have broken our vows at this point, whether anyone has said it out loud or not. He promised to take care of my needs and take away some some of the harshness in my world and I promised to be his ride or die and his heart. When our intimacy broke, all of that went away.
It's a bastard, and I'm sorry. For you, for all of us dealing with this.