Using a throwaway because it's too embarrassing. Tried to write poetry every day I could, this is the only page i didn't throw out because I was severely depressed and suicidal at the moment and tried to vent it into a poem

The thick emotion through my nasal passages reminding me that this is why I lost my friends It's getting hard to think in looking for a link between  why I should or shouldn't bleed out into the kitchen sink Because the drawer with the knife seems much closer than my future Though it's brighter from the shine and actually serves a solid purpose Surfing for purpose on the internet to curb my nervous habits Nerfing my nervous flinches that have me jumping like rabbits I cant stand it because I have no support and not enough to fall back on Because one person can't catch my weight that I try not to pack on solely by themselves I couldn't be more grateful But It doesnt change the fact that I'm dead Because the whiplashed neck snap sounds just like a bone's crack The situation seems less drastic than it really is Anonymous messages That have ruined me yet soothing me The blessing of anonymity No one can know who you harass or compliment A calm lament that complements my calm descent With no accomplishments I'm confidently incompetent A promise sent without intent that it'll implement An impotent omnipotent that threatens my friends and family With promises of heaven but strictly never directly It wrecks me to see demands of mass repenting Because contextually we'll all see the same fate even if you stay away from Satan's ways Because whoever does everything the Bible says is already in Hell anyway