I really do appreciate the fact that you are willing to give a stranger some money to help, but it's not necessary. I was actually pretty shocked people even saw this and responded to it. If you want to do me a favor do this, if someone close to you is ever going through something similar help them and try not to give up on them or ignore it. If i didn't have at least one person that never gave up on me and still hasn't, i wouldn't be alive. Even though i constantly try to push them away, my parents somehow haven't given up on me yet. I have my good days and i have my bad days, some things just set me off and i think they understand that. I think it's an elephant in the room that no one wants to confront, but i'm so tired. It's really not okay to live like this. I just want to go back to having a somewhat normal life. I just want to stop being such a burden on my family.

So on a good day, i made the decision to go and apply for the VA healthcare online before i even made this post. And thinking about even being accepted into the system is making me extremely nervous. They set me up with an initial appointment to basically talk to a doctor about what i need to be seen for. They didn't really ask for specifics, but the appointment is three weeks away. The VA mentioned if im unemployed they will reimburse for gas. And my parents would definitely be able/willing to pay the small things like copays or whatever small charges there are or lend me a car. It's just the actual cost of being seen and the full cost of actual hospital visits that i know they wouldn't be able to afford, nor could i. So i just have to hope the VA will help me when the time comes. It seems like you're an awesome person, thank you.