Thanks for taking the time to reply. You've given me a lot to think about and I'm now more confident we're not going to end up on the street ;)
Because our oldest has special needs, child support isn't going to drop off for him, and I'll be receiving the full CS amount until the youngest graduates in 5 years. To my husband's credit, he stayed true to his promise that I could continue homeschooling them, that we could stay in the house, and that I wouldn't have to work full time until they are both out of school. Keeping the full CS amount was part of what was going to make that work.
The fence has actually been a thorn in my side through all of this, as my STBX has retracted his offer to pay for it. It does need to be replaced, and we were already planning to do it this past summer when the divorce landed in my lap. It is at the point where I go out every morning before I let the dogs out to make sure all the sections are still upright. I'd take care of it today, but our rainy winters mean my back yard is pretty much goop at the moment.
My current plan is to take advantage of the Worker Retraining program through the local community college. For 'displaced housewives' they offer two full terms of books and tuition within two years of divorce, so I've got my fingers crossed I can pull of going full-time this summer and next. I don't have a clue what I'd want to take, but my dream job would be something I could do from home and that makes a boatload of money ;)
I'm also planning to find some freelance or part-time work once everything is finalized. It is not set in stone yet, which is why I'm not already looking, but the rough-draft settlement has alimony as 'non-modifiable', which means I won't be penalized for getting a job. He grumbled about that a little, but in the end I am asking for far less alimony than I am entitled to given his $270k salary, and if I'm only getting alimony for 1 year post-kids, then I've got to have a head-start.
I think a lot of my money worries stem from being in a 30 year old house with the usual aches and pains. The fact of the matter, though, is that there really isn't much out there that is any cheaper. My husband just this week leased a 3-bedroom apartment for $2100, while the mortgage on this place was $2500 (before we paid it off this week!). It would have been nice to make a fresh start in a newer place without so much maintenance, but it just didn't make any sense to leave. So I sit here looking at my leaning fence, a shed that needs a new roof, the paint peeling off the chimney . . .