Got married 8 years ago, met him 12 years ago. Got kicked out of the country immediately after marriage due to "change of immigrant status". Stayed out for 6 months thanks to some shitty advice from the border officials. When I came back, he was different, the guy I married was gone. He's always tried to force his own agenda. He's always felt that he knows best. If he thinks something is bad for you or good for you he will try to MAKE you eat it or drink it or quit it or whatever he thinks needs to be done. If you don't cooperate he will berate you and make you feel like shit, he believes he is justified in doing so. He doesn't understand that you can't force people to do stuff, or that you may try to force someone but they may want you out of their life after you push too hard.
We both spent several years not working, not contributing. My lack of contribution was due to not being legally allowed to work, his was voluntary after he went to a job interview and felt embarrassed about how it went. He claims he can't work because of pain, but has done nothing to secure disability income. He wants to make clothing and these crazy suits with various abilities, but he holds me responsible to get it all started, he's incapable of doing anything on his own. He's dictated various rules that he's going to follow over the years, but he's the only one that gets to do that. He's not going to work for slavers ever again, he's not going to initiate sex ever again, well, I'm not going to support someone that doesn't respect me anymore. I certainly don't respect him now. He won't agree to a divorce, but once I live separately from him for a year, I won't need his permission.