I’ve been suicidal since 15, started hormones 3 years ago and blend well into cis society (despite the government not approving my paperwork atm). I’m terrified to leave my home most days because the depression and dysphoria have been crippling me since I was sexually assaulted in August. I go to class two days a week and my other classes are online. No job so no income, and honestly at this point I’m probably just going to end it when I don’t get hired out of college because I can’t move back in with my parents. I just can’t do it, I’m disgusted by the world and myself and I don’t understand how I can ever be happy. I’ve never in my life felt more like damaged goods than I do now and that’s with the laundry list of self harm and hate that I had before this school year.

I really want a reroll on life, but I’ve made myself content that at least I can curse God before I’m sent to hell anyway.