I am 28, been in my current relationship for nearly two years. I find that I love this girl, she is incredible on so many different levels. By far the most intelligent person I have ever met, insanely gorgeous, and as down to earth as it gets. Problem is that we have arguments pretty frequently and often times I feel like there is very little spark between us anymore. With her being so down to earth, she highlighted a lot of parts of my personality and general way of living that I should work on, and they're pretty reasonable. But its just gone to show me that I am just emotionally immature. I think the lack of spark is gone because there was a period of maybe 3-4 months where I wasn't very good to her. I apologized and tried fixing things, and its just a constant uphill battle that I never make progress on.

What I am saying is that the relationship is constant work, I am working 24/7 to improve myself so that I can have her, because she is absolutely worth it. But I feel like no matter how hard I try to get better, its never good enough. I don't see a lot of progress. We have a ton of separate activities now, we rarely have sex anymore, and it seems like most of the time that we spend together is doing something that is kind of like a waste of time (like watching TV), or having arguments. When I say arguments, I don't mean fights like screaming at each other, but constant disagreements. It feels that no matter how hard I try to hear her or work on being on the same page as her, it is just impossible. I really want to stay with her, but I just want a relationship where I can stay on cruise control, not this constant effort to manage the relationship. I literally have the girl I have always wanted right now, I can name off a massive list of things that I love about her and always sought out in a partner, both big and small things. I know she loves me, and I know I love her, but it just can't get right.

Similar trend in all of my relationships. Prior to this one, I was in a relationship that lasted over 5 years. Prior to that, I was in a few minor adolescent relationships. No matter what I do, it feels like I will never be good enough for anyone else. So why bother?