there's been a fairly clear message in pop media that it's wrong and stupid to try to pick up girls or be sexually aggressive, and now dudes are terrified of trying

Maybe in "pop" media. But there's still plenty of Chris Angel types too. And here's a little story about that. I had a roomate recently who was a personal trainer but not the 'full of himself' type. Decent guy, friendly, and he'd talk a great deal of finding that 'special girl' to settle down with to start a family. But the messed up part was that he was hard core into one of those Pick Up Artists techniques (I can't remember the dudes name). So, on the one hand, this guy was professing that he really, seriously was looking for "the one", while simultaneously using this dudes videos and books to pick up women. He was a good looking guy, personable, obviously fit, not at all douchey in the least - but yet here he was using some dudes books to manipulate women. Made no sense to me at all. But he was absolutely 100% convinced (and had the uhhh... "evidence" to back it up) that those books worked. He got laid a lot - and by some mighty nice looking women. Of course, as much as women complain about this, it's fairly obvious to me that many, many women manipulate men just as much if not more than men ever have with women. Just as men have tried to fend off women treading on what were traditional male roles, so too do women fear men using tried and true techniques of manipulation against them. I see no problem whatsoever with men learning psychological tools that assist them in getting laid, because if there's one right that men almost never have to exercise and that women are privileged to have (and deserve to have protected obviously), it's the right to sexual consent. If you can talk your way in, more power to you, I figure - but it sure doesn't seem like those books and videos are something you want your "one true love" to stumble across some day...