4 years ago I finished my undergrad degree in the Midwest and headed to the West Coast for grad school. My girlfriend, who at that point I'd dated for 3 years decided on graduate school on the East Coast. At the time, we were very much in love and believed we would end up marrying so we decided to attempt a long distance relationship rather than end things due to inconvenience. As part of this plan I worked to complete a 2-year master's program in ~14 months and move east upon graduating so we could live together while she finished her PhD.
The plan was a success and was accomplished without too much strain on our relationship and we moved into a new apartment together not long after I graduated. The first few months were amazing but her mood toward me seemed to grow cold around month 9. At first she explained it as cabin fever + stress at school, combined with the fact that I had started commuting to NYC for work ~2x a week. I knew her well enough, though, that this clearly wasn't 100% the truth. However, repeated attempts to talk about the issue were met with "I'm fine," and "I still love you, I'm just stressed."
Finally, one day in the middle of February, I decided to take a late train home from the city instead of staying the corporate apartment. I arrived to find my own apartment empty and couldn't reach my girlfriend on her phone. This wasn't unusual since she often went out with other grad students during the week as her class schedule allowed and I assumed she had crashed at a friend's for the night. I was somewhat concerned about not getting a text note but I had to be back on the train in the morning and was more concerned about getting some sleep. The next day I received a text from her while on the train, apologizing and saying she was fine and back in her lab on campus. That night I arrived late once again, this time finding her crying on the couch with an entire bottle of wine already gone.
She confessed that she'd spent the last night with someone who she had been seeing for 3 months, they had met 6 months after I'd moved and had had a sexual relationship almost from the beginning. He was not a fellow classmate or even associated with the university she was attending but just some guy who lived in town who she'd met out at a bar on a night I didn't feel like going out and/or had to leave for work early the next day. She admitted that she didn't think their relationship would last but that she enjoyed being with him "for now." As a result, she said, she realized she could not have a future with me.
I was devastated. I wanted to see her point of view, no one can help who they are or aren't attracted to or who they fall in and out of love with and when that happens. When it happens to you though... At the time, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Initially I was emotional, and we continued to live together for 3 months after this incident, which didn't help matters. Eventually though, sadness turned to anger and I began to resent her and everything that I came to believe she "tricked" me into doing: rushing through graduate school, moving across the country, paying for an apartment she otherwise couldn't afford, etc. Especially during those months that she was seeing him without my knowledge. Every dinner date and short road trip during those months became a tarnished memory. Eventually I decided to leave the East Coast all-together, as the only thing keeping me there at that point was the job.
Although I'm no longer angry at her and have even gone back to cherishing the memories of the good times we spent together, the experience has still managed to jade my current love life. I have, since then, met and dated a handful of amazing women but I often find excuses to not commit. There have also been instances where I've found myself being uncharacteristically possessive or jealous and that can be unfair to whomever I'm seeing. Part of me wants to set that part of myself aside before I settle into a steady relationship.
Anyway, nice to vent about that. Carry on with the jokes.
tl;dr - Some girl fucked me up now I just chill with my dog