Lurker for ages. First time I've felt compelled to post, I suppose the timing was right. Sorry for the long rant, cheaper than a shrink I guess. Anyway, here goes the opposite of yours...

This week, the girl that I’d been with for the last three-and-a-half years broke up with me; a very successful woman, intelligent, super hot (one of the hottest I've ever been with) but at the same time, extremely insecure. Our official relationship (2-and-something years) was always rocky, if I may say so, mostly due to the latter, and because of that, we had been broken up since last December after 6-months living together. Now, I'm in my mid-30's, lived abroad for some years and traveled far and wide but came back to my home town with her by my side. This is a very conservative country where pretty much all bar one of our mutual friends (and mostly mine, because I’m older) are already married (most of them with kids) or in long term relationships. I thought we were heading down the same path; we talked about having kids a few times and how cute they would be, we even had names. In hindsight, one of the biggest mistakes I did was cutting out all other social interactions (with single people) just to be with her. Pretty logical when you’re in that spot, not so much when you’re newly single. So, during my solo stint between last Dec and March I had a go with Tinder and Happn and did alright. Unfortunately, never really wanted to call back any of the 5 or 6 girls I had sex with. I have always been fairly successful with women, but most of the times I can't be bothered with the narrow mind that usually characterizes my fellow countrywomen. When I was living abroad, I never wanted anything to do with them because I felt foreigners had a “better” view of the world. Until I met her. Despite the messy breakup, we started seeing each other at least 2-3 times per week throughout this year since March-April. During this period, we were non-exclusively together, but neither of us was actually doing much in trying to meet other people. We knew we fooled around when any of us was out of town but kept it silent. We just cared for each other a lot (or so I'd like to think). Sex was way better than when we were officially a couple. She also actually gave in to a fetish of mine (which had been a huge source of trouble regarding her confidence while a couple) and seemed to enjoy it. In the last couple of months, unfortunately, she was very distant, didn’t want to have sex, like, ever, and couldn’t even be bothered to give me a proper kiss (like the ones you feel she means it) when I went out of my way to give her the best birthday surprises (plural) I could think of. I was furious and felt very unappreciated for my efforts, so I was mean, I was harsh, and completely lost my temper while drunk. Then, she said she was very confused, didn’t know what she wanted, etc, so she felt it was better if we left it at that. To say I was disappointed, felt betrayed and angry at her for not trying (like I was trying after she was always begging me to do when officially a couple) would be a massive understatement. She behaved exactly the same way she always used to complain about me when we were officially together. Karma is a bitch, right? Now, I feel like I’m right back in the same spot as last December and dreading another (semi-spoiler) summer by myself. She can have any guy she wants, and there’s plenty of them lurking around. Add to the mix my “unconventional” fetish and a heavier-than-usual taste for booze; my lack of patience dealing with bullshit or stupid questions/answers over Tinder/Happn, and almost zero friends to go out and meet girls at bars. In a very stupid sense of the word, I feel like I’ve lost. I lost her, I lost my confident and confidence, lost the chance to have a “normal” life (at least with her), lost my previous lifestyle abroad (because fuck going back there), but above all, lost faith in finding someone like her; but not just quite like her. Women, can’t live with’em, can’t live without’em, eh?