You were correct about the battle commencing. It was back on today. Lots of shit tests. I handled them by mostly STFU and just leaving- coming up with excuses to leave for an hour or so several times.
I did mix in a little AM also. She was giving me shit test the whole drive over to a relative. At one point, she said, "oh here is the point of the evening where you start becoming overly critical of me ". I STFU. Just before we knocked on the door she gave me a similar comment, and I said to her, " I agree, and I'm glad you've honed your mind reading and future prediction skills so well." Followed up with a little chuckle.
On the way home she actually apologized for one of the many shit test comments - The apology was a direct result of the AM based on her wording. But then five minutes later the shit testing continued, and I mostly just STFU. When we got home, I told her I had to go to Walgreens and run a couple errands. It actually felt great and empowering to get out, and they were legit errands.
I came back and hour or so later and just started cleaning the upstairs and doing a bunch of other errands for another hour. The only thing I said to her before she went to sleep was "you called me a name, and that was unacceptable ." (She called me crazy during one of her shit test she called me crazy after an AM I pulled off pretty well. She quickly tried to do damage control and said she was just joking, but there was no smile on her face and I could tell the AM just major pissed.
I basically just said, that's all I have to say about the situation when she tried to blow it up into a full-blown argument. I grabbed the pillow and told her I was going to chill upstairs for a while. In retrospect it probably was bad timing making me look a little butt hurt. She tried to argue as I headed upstairs about how I was playing games all day and acting "weird." I just looked at her and smiled and said "I'm all good baby. I don't know what you're talking about." and here I am chilling on the couch where I'll probably sleep.
I found it ironic that she said I was playing games. Mostly I just STFU and or left the situation until o could get a better mood/perspective. She is a very strong woman and I've come to realize that she is actually a master of STFU and gas lighting. That's why I stopped bringing my issues to her - because I realized that all she does is turn it into a shit test by turning it back at me and telling me how my feelings are invalid and my thoughts are wrong. STFU avoids all that.
Overall I feel pretty content and given the quantity of shit test I took today I think I did pretty well overall, but I definitely could've handled it better, at the end particularly. I'm open to suggestions.