DotA 2 makes me cry, help me pls

I was exactly where you are this time last year. I had been gaming 8+ hours a day every day for 5+ years. My now ex moved out because he said him or games, and I wouldn't (or couldn't?) stop gaming. My job was in jeopardy from it, and my life whenever I wasn't working had become reduced to living in one small room behind the PC, with the only friends left being ingame friends. Meals became whatever delivery I could order. I had over 300 steam games, 3 mmo subscriptions, and had nothing else, nothing real anymore. The anger and fear and hopelessness I felt....many nights when I did finally go to sleep I would lie there wishing to die.
That was a little over 8 months ago, and I can say I have been game free since. The only way I was able to get free was I found a group of other recovering gaming addicts and going to the online meetings they have each day and hearing them share having been where I was and how they got out helped me to realize I wasn't some worthless loser (I have a Masters in Chemistry and could not figure out wth was wrong) and that this is a real addiction that many others had gone through. Second, listening to them share what tools they use and how their life has gotten better gave me hope. Third, they cared and offered to help and that made me feel I wasn't alone and didn't have to do this all by myself. Today I feel calmer (man did gaming over-amp my brain), have friends again, and am comfortable in my own skin and even like myself some of the time. I still go to alot of the meetings. They are every day at 1:30pm or 10pm in either stepchat or mumble (info is here
Hang in there. There is hope and a way out and you don't have to do it alone. I give you a ton of credit for taking the first step and posting what you have here. Hope to see you in one of the meetings. Hugs!

/r/DotA2 Thread