Mostly cheating and abusive people don't change, and even if your husband does change, you'll never completely believe him, he has broken your trust way too many times, he gave you STDs for fucks sake, you're destroying your own life, and let's say he changes for good, what you've been through bc of him, you'll never stop worrying about him, he's late from work, maybe he's cheating on you, and let's be honest, emotionally abusive people never change..... I'm sorry but you're gonna have to leave him, I know you love him and it's not easy, but doing the right thing doesn't always make you happy, eventually you'll feel better, leave him, it's not healthy for you.... Again I'm so sorry, stay strong