For me, it was a slowly building process. In a relationship of 3 years, my self esteem had been gradually degrading. I was doing well when we first got together, but I was so happy with her that I dedicated everything to her, meaning I did less personal development. Bad things also happened that was partially the result of childhood trauma I hadn’t dealt with- lost all my friends in drama, lost my scholarship in university and was suspended, my business was sued and I was 20k in debt at the age of 21. I began to become insecure and overanalyse her actions. Over a year, I thought she and her friends hated me and thought I was a loser. I completely broke down to her one time and she reassured me, but over the next months I was still so worried she hated me. I was isolated and had thoughts of suicide. But then another girl came along and thought I was amazing, stroked my ego, so I told her how I thought me girlfriend hated me and she agreed. It was emotional cheating for 2 weeks. I then went to break up with my girlfriend and I realised that she did love me, her friends loved me, and she was so sure about marrying me. That was the single worst moment of my life and I’ve spent more than a year thinking about it everyday. I’ve tortured myself because I know that it’s completely my fault and I ruined something amazing because I couldn’t manage my weaknesses. - ENFJs want to please others and will often forego their own needs - ENFJs bass their worth on their usefulness to others, and others perception of them - ENFJs can become islotated, overthink, be overly self critical and manipulative when unhealthy