When people shoot themselves with longer guns, they tend to miss forward. Seen a few faces blown off.

One chick took her parents chemo pills in a suicide attempt, when we called poison control they gave her a 0% chance to live, said she would most likely be psychotic until organ failure. She was psychotic for 2 weeks, continually screaming on her admission floor (could always hear her when we took patients up), but ended up leaving being fine leaving a few weeks later....no explanation as to how she did it.

AAA rupture in front of me in triage, patient just slumped, was only complaining of back pain.... which is like 90+ % fatal, and is commonly fatal when it happens when surgeons are already in the abdomen. Thankfully it happened after talking to him for a minute with a few hints and not as he was walking through the door before we could talk. He made it.

One dude stabbed himself in the neck with a knife. Said his knife was nagging him while he was making dinner and at the time it seemed like the best course of action. Missed everything...just came in with a stab wound in the front of his neck, wasnt even bleeding anymore.