aaaaaaand ACTION! TAKE ONE
"I'm a Scrub".
"I hang out in Hisec and Wardec corps. 1 v 1? Are you kidding me? I do whatever my FC tells me. It's better that way. I once lost a frigate to a war target and I'll never hear the end of it. That mobile Tractor Unit in Jita? I put that there. I'm saving up for snake implants".
"Last night, we were grinding down the timer on a Hub in Urlen in our Rattlesnake fleet. We'd done this one a few times now, and there was no resistance as usual. I think we were getting paid for it but I never see any ISK. Finally, it popped, OP SUCCESS! Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a Magnate appears and salvages it. We can't fire, FC didn't give the order and it isn't suspect. The cargo drops and an Iteron V warps in and steals our loot. 400mil in salvage and 250mil from the drop. We worked for that. Three timers we worked for that. Fucking ninja looters again".
"So, you know what we did, we declared war on them. And you know what? They're scared. They're back in LowSec right now, they're not planning their next heist, they're scared. They're not going to adapt and evolve, they're not wearing our War Dec as a badge of honor- they are literally falling apart".
"You know why? Cause I'm using an outdated war mechanic. Cause I'm in a Rattlesnake with snake implants and my FC knows he can count on me to follow orders. And cause I'll be right here in HiSec waiting for them. They'll come back".
"I'm a scrub. And this is my Eve Story".